Waiting...

This is a little more of a "personal" post than my usual update. Feel free to skip if you don't want to read the ramblings of a single Christian girl. :)

A PROMISE

Fourteen years ago (officially half of my life) I made a promise and commitment to my Heavenly Father to wait for my future husband. My earthly father gave me a promise ring as a symbol of that promise. I wear it on my left ring finger.

I get asked all the time “Are you engaged?”. No. I'm not. Not in an official sense. In a way though, I am. I don't know his name, what he does, or where he lives... (points if you catch the movie reference)...but by the grace of God, when the right man comes around, I'll be able to replace my promise ring with an engagement ring and say “I've waited for you in a way that honored you as my future husband”.

When I was younger, I had no problem talking about the ring on my finger: “It's a ring from my dad signifying the covenant I made with him and God that I'll wait for my future husband.”

Now, admittedly, I find it harder to say that. Simply because I'm afraid of how people perceive me. I know I'm in the minority. Even amongst Christians. If asked, I'll admit I'm a virgin. I've never even been kissed. (aside from once in Kindergarden, and then at various points on stage, ;-)). I want to be proud of those facts. I am. But it's hard in this day and age.

GROWING UP

When I was fourteen, thinking about marrige, I thought to myself “It's ok, I don't even need to worry about getting married until I'm eighteen.” When I reached eighteen it was “I don't want to get married until after college.” Then I went on to grad school, still with the same mindset “I'd prefer not to get married until after I graduate.”

During my teen and college years, I had a feeling I'd be the last of my childhood friends to get married. I was never in any rush. (Helped by the fact that there weren't any serious contenders for the role of “Husband” in my play). I had a number in my head: 27. “I'll get married when I'm 27.”

TRUSTING

Now I'm turning 28. No engagement ring, and no Husband character on the horizon.

I know God can work miracles.....but I admit chances of vows being said in the next few hours are pretty slim. Unless some time-travel miracle happens.

I don't know what God's plan will be. By His grace I'll continue to wait. It's not easy, I'll admit. But there's so much to remember:

• My story is unique, 'cause it's MY story, but there are other girls who've been waiting even longer than I have for their future husband. (Some are friends of mine. I pray for them, and am selfishly thankful for them. Since we're in the same boat so to speak.)

• I'm “free”

  • to make my own schedule

  • to do what I want to do

  • to watch what I want to watch

  • to eat where I want to eat

  • to go to the movie I want to go to

  • to make split second decisions without having to consult a second party

  • to go where I want to go

• Singleness IS a gift from God where I'm free to concentrate more specifically on my relationship with HIM. As soon as a husband and (Lord willing) kids enter the picture, it gets harder to have quiet-time. He's the KEY relationship in my life that I have the freedom to concentrate and spend my energies on. And He's the one person who WILL be there my whole life and beyond.

I remember most of those points daily. But does that take away the desire for a Husband? No. But usually it at least takes the edge off.

I'm thankful to my parents for being my guardians and looking out for me. Since I'm committed to waiting, I'm thankful I've been spared the pain of multiple break-ups. I'm very thankful for their guidance and love and support.

CONTINUING ON

I'm 28. I realize that is not “old”. I am still quite “young”. I'm far from an “old maid” status.

I love stories of “older” women getting married. Girls/Ladies/Women who waited. It's an encouragement to others. By the grace of God I hope to encourage others.

And you know what? It could be God's got some other plan for me than marriage. That's ok. He's the First and Last.

I've written rather random/un-cohesive paragraphs. What am I trying to say by writing all this? A few things:

1. I'm (trying) not ashamed of who I am.

2. Hopefully somehow be an encouragement to someone else.

IN THE MEANTIME

Dear Friend (somewhere out there),

You are there, and I am here. Looking forward to running into you someday.

Signed,

The person you're gonna have to put up with the rest of your life. ;-)

And....

Dear God,

Thy will be done.

And if that will includes a husband, all the better. ;-)

Blessed be your name.

Love,

Your Daughter